By Morgen Makombo Sikwila
Understanding the prevalent causes of divorce is not merely an academic exercise; it serves as a practical guide for couples to identify and navigate potential challenges in their relationships.
While couples may initially overlook or underestimate differences in life goals and priorities, these disparities can grow into insurmountable obstacles as the marriage matures. Whether it’s a divergence in career aspirations, lifestyle choices, or family planning, the lack of alignment can lead to emotional detachment and ultimately the dissolution of the marriage.
Zimbabwe’s rich tapestry of cultures and religions can sometimes be a double-edged sword in marital relationships. Couples from diverse backgrounds may find themselves at odds over deeply ingrained beliefs and traditions, especially when it comes to raising children. These conflicts can escalate, causing emotional strain and leading to divorce if not adequately mediated.
Parenting is a big task that requires a unified front. Disagreements over child-rearing philosophies, educational choices, and disciplinary measures can create a rift between spouses. The tension and resentment that build up over time can be corrosive, undermining the marital relationship and leading to its eventual breakdown.
Money is often cited as one of the leading causes of stress in relationships. Disparate views on budgeting, spending, saving, and investing can create a financial discord that spills over into other aspects of the marriage. When couples can’t find common ground on financial matters, the relationship often suffers, sometimes to the point of divorce. People who spend a lot of money on their weddings are more likely to divorce compared to those who spend little. The financial strain of an extravagant celebration, combined with unmet expectations, can put immense pressure on a new marriage.
Sexual compatibility is a cornerstone of marital satisfaction. Changes in sexual desires, frequency, or preferences can lead to dissatisfaction for one or both partners. This discontentment can manifest in various ways, including infidelity, which is a significant precursor to divorce.
Addiction is a destructive force that can wreak havoc on any relationship. Whether it’s substance abuse, pornography, or an unhealthy attachment to social media, addiction can erode trust, disrupt family dynamics, and lead to emotional and sometimes physical separation between spouses.
The impact of alcohol and drug addiction can shatter the foundations of trust, drain financial resources, and leave emotional wounds that are hard to heal. The “chaos cascade” of substance abuse — unpredictable behavior, emotional withdrawal, and even physical danger — creates a devastating cycle that leaves the non-using partner feeling powerless and vulnerable. As addiction chips away at love and respect, the relationship often crumbles under the weight of fear and instability
Gambling is a game of odds, and that includes the odds of a marriage surviving one spouse’s gambling addiction. Lifetime divorce rates for problem and pathological gamblers are nearly double compared to marital breakdown rates among non-gamblers. The compulsion and adrenaline rush of high-stakes betting can result in secretive behavior and financial devastation, shattering marital trust, often beyond repair. The emotional fallout and the sense of betrayal that come from discovering hidden debts can be devastating for the relationships.
The advent of social media has blurred the lines between public and private lives. Excessive use of these platforms can lead to emotional detachment within the family unit, as spouses may prioritize virtual interactions over real-world connections. This detachment can contribute to marital dissatisfaction and ultimately marriage dies a natural death. Influencers and other social media power users love to dazzle followers with the “highlight reels” of their seemingly perfect marriages. Behind the filters and carefully curated updates, however, could be a relationship under serious strain. Heavy social media users are more likely to consider divorce compared to less frequent posters. The constant comparison, lack of genuine connection, and secrecy that can accompany excessive social media use take a toll, pushing marriages brink of breakdown.
Infidelity commonly taken as a diversification of love circles, remains a leading cause of divorce worldwide, and Zimbabwe is no exception. The betrayal of trust is often so severe that it leaves the marital relationship beyond repair, leading to its dissolution.
Abuse, whether physical, emotional, or psychological, is an unequivocal deal-breaker in any relationship. It is a pervasive issue that transcends age, gender, and socio-economic status, and it almost invariably leads to divorce.
Effective communication is the lifeblood of any successful relationship. A breakdown in communication is often a contributory factor in nearly most of divorces. When couples fail to express their needs, concerns, and feelings adequately, misunderstandings growin strength, leading to emotional detachment and divorce. There are some specific behaviors that often predict divorce: criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling. These highlights the significant damage even one of these can inflict on a marriage. For example, contempt—such as rolling your eyes, sneering, or using sarcasm to belittle a partner—destroys feelings of affection and safety and erodes respect and connection. When couples can’t communicate with empathy or acknowledge each other’s emotions, their relationship is often on a path toward an irretrievable breakdown.
Long-distance relationships present unique challenges, including loneliness and the struggle to maintain intimacy. The physical separation can exacerbate existing issues and introduce new ones, making it difficult for the relationship to survive in the long term.
Mental health issues if left unidentified or untreated, can be a ticking time bomb in a relationship. Conditions like depression, anxiety, or more severe disorders can create an emotional chasm between spouses, leading to misunderstandings, resentment, and ultimately divorce if not adequately addressed.
Sometimes, there is no dramatic catalyst for divorce; couples simply grow apart over time. Changes in individual interests, career paths, or personal growth trajectories can create a gradual but irreversible rift, leading to the mutual decision to part ways.
Failing to respond to bids for attention can result in divorce. Have you ever heard your partner say, “Hey, come here and look at this ___ (insert remarkable thing)!” while you were busy or distracted? How couples respond to these small bids for attention can make or break a relationship. In successful marriages, spouses respond positively to these moments most of the time. These little gestures of connection build emotional intimacy, so neglecting them can leave one or both partners feeling unappreciated and unloved.
When we think about the reasons marriages fail, infidelity usually gets top billing. While cheating is indeed a common trigger for divorce, other factors can be equally impactful in pushing a relationship to the breaking point. Couples are driven apart not usually by a single event, but by a gradual erosion of connection, often stemming from growing apart, constant arguments, and a lack of commitment. The core drivers behind these issues are often unaddressed, everyday problems that, over time, destroy the foundation of trust and intimacy.
Morgen Makombo Sikwila
MSc Peace and Governance
BSc Counselling
Diploma in Environmental Health
Certificate in Marketing Management
Email address morgensikwilam@gmail.com
Phone Number: 0772823282
