By Morgen Makombo Sikwila
As the name suggests, ’empty nest’ refers to the feeling of emptiness that parents go through when their children leave home for work and other reasons.
Children grow up and become responsible enough to live alone; they learn to venture into new things and need to step out to meet their personal and professional demands.
Parents on the other hand feel abandoned, miss time spent with their children and this, in turn, can cause them to feel depressed, lonely and alienated. It is not a psychiatric illness but just a term used to denote the condition of parents when the last child leaves home.
As parents, we want to provide our children with good education, help them become independent and wish they prosper in life. This often means children might have to leave for boarding schools or go to colleges or work in places far away from home and this can trigger mixed emotions and really hard to deal with as parents.
Some parents are more susceptible to empty nest syndrome than others. Some parents may find living alone really difficult and have an emotional breakdown. Parents who have disturbances or complications in their marriages depend on their children and may feel more lonely when they leave.
Parents who rely on their parental roles of self-identity and are fulltime parents, suffer separation anxiety when their children leave.
There are parents who like catering to their children’s needs because they think their children are dependent on them and when children leave and capably look after themselves or parents suffering from mental illness tend to have high chances of experiencing empty nest syndrome.
The causes of empty nest syndrome vary among parents. Some of them include, parents feeling worried about their children’s safety and wee-being. They keeping thinking their children may not be able to manage everything on their own and have difficulty adjusting to new environments. Parents may find the condition uncomfortable for several years when they lose sense of parental responsibility. There is a certain silence at home and parents miss the enthusiasm of their children being around.
Researchers have found that parents suffering from empty nest syndrome may experience the following symptoms: a feeling of sadness and frustration; social isolation; constant anxiety; a sense of insecurity; boredom and endless worry and guilty.
The empty nest syndrome can be noticed in both parents. The age group mostly affected with the empty nestsyndrome is 40-55 years. However, based on gender a few things may differ. While women may be at risk of being depressed and experience social withdrawal, the fathers may turn alcoholic and indulge in substance abuse.
The empty nest syndrome can even prompt suicidal thoughts in parents. If timely help is sought, the individual will be better able to deal with the issue.
Marital stress is not uncommon among parents transitioning into a new rhythm with their children out of the house and can often cause increased tension and bickering. It may be helpful to seek professional help to resolve the issues arising due to the situation as it may be temporary but might have a huge impact on the couple.
The parenting journey is an incredible, transformative experience marked by milestones and memories. As children mature and venture into adulthood, parents face a new chapter in life: the empty nest. It is a significant turning point that evokes many emotions. The shift in roles and identity as children leave the nest can throw a person off balance, wondering who they are if not a parent.
The empty nest provides the perfect time for adults to explore new interests and find meaning outside of parenting. It is a unique opportunity for personal growth. It’s a time for renewed relationships, rededication to career goals- identity discovery and increased well-being.
There are benefits of self- rediscovery, professional growth and improved life satisfaction during this period. By understanding and addressing the emotional adjustments necessitated by the empty nest, parents can navigate this phase of life with resilience and find new opportunities for self- fulfilment and personal growth.
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