Most people we see sporting big bellies, ladies glowing with beauty and those driving flashy cars and looking very healthy CEOs rank and file are in most cases people living with HIV and to the casual eye they appear very healthy and innocent.
Myself, my wife and our born HIV positive daughter now 32 look so healthy that a lot of people whom we tell we are positive think we are just joking. Looks can be very deceiving and people getting into relationships should insist on real medical HIV test results in order to get into a serious relationship.
Rumours abound at many funerals these days about the deceased having defaulted on their medication.
A lot of people will never let you know their positive statuses no matter how much in love they are with you. Similarly a lot more would simply look at a prospective lover’s physical appearance and once they are satisfied a decision is made straight away basing on the looks and whether they think one is positive or negative and that’s what we call a “Visual HIV test”. A lot of people use this method to make decisions on how to get into marriages or both long and short term relationships and in most cases at their own peril.
Most people living with HIV will in many cases never divulge their statuses to their prospective partners for fear of being rejected or being discriminated and shamed. This is the reason why we are advocating for the creation of an environment that encourages those of us living with HIV to disclose freely without fear of being shamed. The current situation is still not conducive enough and only those living with HIV know this. Its very simple for one taking asthma, malaria and other such medication in public view but it’s not the same for those taking ARVs to do the same without attracting derision and silent condemnation. People may argue and say that this is no longer the case but truth is many people living with HIV take their tablets in hiding with only a few doing so publicly.
Where I live here in rural Gokwe I know most of those who are living with HIV and very few are comfortable talking about their HIV positive statuses and quite many are either widowed and get into casual relationships from time to time and whenever I meet them I jokingly encourage them to tell their partners their statuses and never to default on their ART uptake and usually they take my advice very well.
Visual HIV testing has many dangers especially to the innocent party. Among the dangers are the possibilities of getting into relationships with people who are HIV positive who will do unprotected sex with you but won’t disclose to you until you get infected and when you are sick or die they dump you and move on with their lives and with new partners.
These same people living with HIV and still looking healthy will continue taking their ART secretly and continue to engage in unprotected sex with multiple partners for the rest of their lives with no immediate harm coming to them. My advice to those still relying on visual HIV testing is always ask whoever you are dating to go for a real medical HIV test.
I am not an expert on HIV in the medical sense but my long life with HIV spanning nearly 4 decades has taught me great lessons which I shall always continue to share with a lot others so that they also to live with HIV positively .I have advised many people who looked very healthy but had other underlying invisible health problems to go for HIV testing and most have tested positive.
There are many ailments that are related to HIV which do not affect one’s physical health appearance and by the time one falls really ill a lot of damage has been done and no amount of ARVs can revive that person. It’s wise to go for HIV testing regularly to avoid delaying ART initiation.
I always call myself an “expert on living with HIV” and in next week’s article I shall dwell more on some signs and symptoms as well as some of the side effects of ART if not taken correctly. Meanwhile, let’s encourage each other to go for HIV tests and avoid visual HIV tests which in most cases are misleading and lead to uninformed sexual decisions.
Those of us living with HIV knowingly let’s disclose our positive statuses to our partners both casual or long term. Failure to disclose to me is tantamount to heinous attempted murder. Similarly getting into a sexual or marital relationship without insisting on having an HIV test done is the height of irresponsibility and the victims have nobody to blame expert themselves.
Piason Maringwa
+263774322043
