Poetry Corner

Of Lobola and the absurdity of feminism

By Tatenda ‘Colourful Villain’ Matake

What a mockery to feminism and gender parity. An exclamation of double standards. It’s satiric how women want to modernise culture and balance of power with men and yet still subdue to and take pride in archaic and hypocritical rituals such as lobola/brideprice.

 If we are equals then why does o ly the groom have to incur the costs of the union and be condemned if inadequate? Why do men have to be condemned and fined for something which originated consensually? Do the inlaws ever know what a bill the groom incurs from courtship?

Paying lobola during a marriage ceremony in Zimbabwe.

The same women that advocate for feminism and gender parity are the same ones that tout for a hefty brideprice and coffers from the same patriarch they loathe. How can one be feminine and yet still accept patriarchal rituals and depend on the same men you claim to be at par with? You can’t expect to be equal with your provider, it’s like a child seeking parity with a parent. If a lady accedes to a man’s noble courtship and vow to merge hers with his in parity then it means all of the men’s ability they can mirror too.

As for the believers and born again , it’s even more hilarious. They claim to be new creatures in their faith and yet still pride their nostalgia for the archaic. For the learned ones its way too nude.

 They claim to be woke and independent yet their independence is best defined in their dependence on men to cushion their lifestyles and feed their ego with validation.

 They even argue that their academic and corporate achievements should command a heftier brideprice. It’s funny how they sell all that in return for a mere social/marital title and status as well as material security.

One could say the basic instinct of women is dependence , be it material or sentimental. It’s funny how they want to distance themselves from that which they depend on. How ironic that in all their independence and wokeness they still desperately desire and depend on men’s approval and validation.

As for the slay queens it’s annoying. How can you be a queen when you act like a mere concubine? It’s satiric how they sell themselves for relevance and paegentry. When they are worn out they still expect some men to pay a hefty prize for the residues.

Isn’t it funny how they constantly condemn men to have used them when they basically handed themselves over as a tool.

It’s funny how the indication or validation of women’s worth and beauty (Lobola) broods toxicity and mul treatment from men. It’s funny how women pride themselves in being commodified and attached to them a monetary value.

 It’s a human instinct to feel entitled after procurement, as such does the groom after brideprice. They brood toxicity in men by imposing unscrupulous material demands and expectations. The Piper dictates

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