BY PIASON MARINGWA
A sick person can easily be destroyed if his or her illness is used to shame and remove his/her dignity.
During the early years of the advent of HIV/AIDS it was very common to find some family members as well as some medical personnel scolding very frail and skeletally sick people for having AIDS without offering any help.
Being HIV+ was like committing a very serious crime and this would lead to many people refuse to go for HIV testing a trend that is still prevalent to this day as we still have many adults who still fear being tested.
When desperate people realise that real help for whatever is affecting them is far from coming they develop new coping skills and desist from the cry baby mentality as they ignore their problem and move on with life. This might give the one expected to offer help think that the problem has been resolved hence there is no longer any danger from the problem yet the danger will be far from over. This is what is happening in the area of HIV from my own observation as a person living with HIV.
While we all believe that HIV has declined an ominous fear still exists amongst people both HIV+ and those still to be tested. Unlike COVID 19 where anyone caught would be exposed and quarantined HIV/AIDS has been placed in a position where the infected’s right to privacy about his health status is guaranteed hence he can go on and infect others freely if one so wishes.
Something doesn’t seem to add up when we try to compare how COVID 19 was handled leading to its short stay with us and how HIV has been handled which made it stay for over 4 decades and still going on strong.
When HIV/AIDS came on the scene around mid-80s it was very vicious ravaging people indiscriminately in its wake leaving noone and no family untouched we never heard of anyone being forced to wear condoms even though people were encouraged and persuaded to use them. For sure HIV/AIDS is responsible for the widespread use of condoms we see today which many people use and without being forced to. Those men who ply the promiscuous and prostitution value chain know very well that a real prostitute will never allow you to enter her honey pot without a condom because she knows the consequences.
The only prostitute who will let a man sleep with her without one is either a married woman or a young inexperienced lady who thinks sleeping with a man without a condom is showing love. Policies should have been crafted to persuade those testing positive to disclose their status without the fear of being shamed, stigmatized and discriminated against.
Shame is worse than death and many people would prefer to suffer and die silently than suffer shame and humiliation. I remember very well during the COVID-19 era as many people were dying with authorities trying hard to force people to wear face masks and people resisting and only putting them on at checkpoints not sure of the effectiveness of face these masks were against the marauding COVID 19 pandemic. Noone was forced to wear condoms but the real threat posed by AIDS forced people to wear them without any threat of arrest from authorities. The fact that people had to wear condoms without being forced to, says a lot to a discerning mind.
Many business people who benefited from the COVID-19 value chain wish it had gone on and on. I personally feel that those people living with HIV have nobody to blame for their continued shame, loss of dignity, self blame, self stigma because most of them got infected while going on with normal day to day activities and owe noone an apology except maybe their spouses or children in case they infected them unintentionally.
Time for everyone to disclose and take our ARVs publicly is now and those encouraging us to remain silent are benefitting privately from our fear, shame and self stigma.There are three of us in my family living with HIV for over 3 decades and since my 1999 TB bout we have never been ill to warrant hospitalisation. Meanwhile, I have lost nine family members all from AIDS related illnesses and all tested positive long after we had tested positive but refused to take ARVs or disclose.
HIV like all other illnesses is big business that is enriching many countries, individuals etc and there are people out there who want it to continue for eternity so that they continue feeding on our suffering. I therefore, implore all those living with HIV here to come out of hiding disclose take their ARVs publicly and enjoy full health. Prophets and n’angas feed on the people’s fear of illnesses and death and you’ll never convince them that death is a natural phenomenon.
My book “The Extra Time” explains fully how I managed my fears since 1995 when I began suspecting that I was positive because I felt I had done all things that caused HIV to 1999 when I tested positive while undergoing TB treatment at St Luke’s hospital near Lupane. The book also talks about how I disclosed to my wife, how she accepted it including how we informed our now 31 year old daughter and mother of three HIV negative boys how to cope with her HIV status acquired at birth. I invite those wishing to read my book to reach me on my number *+263774322043*so that we arrange how you can get your copy.”
