By Piason Maringwa
Old age is a natural way that affects many people in many different ways. Those of us who are HIV have got peculiar challenges that are different from those affecting other elderly or HIV negative people.
Most challenges faced by HIV+ elderly people stem from the “shameful” way HIV is supposed to be acquired which is via sexual acts. Most people view those living with HIV as sexual mischief makers and you can imagine the shame attached to an elderly man or lady lining up for ART at their local health facility.
In this week’s article I shall try and highlight some of the challenges we face as elderly people living with HIV.
I am lucky that I have lived with HIV knowingly since the time I was a young adult through middle adulthood and now am in my late adulthood stage at unofficially 65 years but officially 60. I have learnt through experience and observation some of the problems of being HIV+ and how to overcome some of these problems.
When my elder brother tested HIV+ in 2013 his first request to me was to never tell anyone including his wife of 34 years. His other main worry was how his in laws would view him if they learnt that he was HIV+. Basically elderly HIV+ people fear being labeled promiscuous people.
They also fear being associated with prostitution and other such bad labels. Those labelling elderly might not realise that these, at some point in time were young people doing things most young people do and got infected in the process.
Widowhood is another challenge that affects positive people and it’s worse if it comes when one is very old. Widowhood comes with loneliness and other related infirmities. Losing a partner with whom one has lived with for decades has very devastating effects especially on the mental, emotional and physical wellbeing of the remaining spouse. Grown up children can also be a thorn in the flesh to the remaining parent especially if it is the wife who has died. Most children, be they old or young are very jealous for their dead mother and might not approve of their father enjoying female affection and this may complicate their father’s wellbeing if he is still sexually active as they interfere with his private life.
My advice to all elderly people living with HIV is to acknowledge that they’re people just like anyone else and hence have the right to live their lives as they wish. Living with HIV+ in old age is not a crime. Elderly people need to take good care of their health, that is eating good food , doing regular exercises avoiding toxic situations and unnecessarily exposing themselves to situations that challenge their mental faculties negatively.
Elderly HIV+ should avoid competing with younger people be it at work or in business. They should accept that they’re now old and should avoid venturing into new uncharted territories as this might put unnecessary strain on their mental and emotional health
The elderly must avoid regrets and blames for past mistakes as this will not solve anything. Actually blaming oneself for past errors can cause health problems related to stress. If in the past one was very well off or was a boss and has now fallen on hard times the best foot forward is to accept reality and make the best out of the present set up.
Most elderly people living with HIV got infected when they were still young and sexually adventurous and should not be taken as if they got it in old age and even if they got it in old age what’s wrong with that. Those elderly and shy to collect their regular supplies should join the CARGI groups to have their tablets collected by others. My family has no problem collecting our medication because we have told ourselves that we have no regrets nor do we need to apologize to anyone.
Piason Maringwa
+263774322043
