Sometimes we lose it all. Yet we can still rise up and not choose to give up. The pains of going through the valley can sometimes be so devastating that giving up may be the only option out but like Winston Churchill always said “Never give up, never ever, never”.
Whoever started talking about HIV/AIDs made it such a nasty and so shameful a condition that whoever was diagnosed with it was a condemned person whose dignity was taken away and was reduced to a grave case with no hope to live a useful life ever again. A lot of ugly, shameful and frightening nicknames were coined to HIV/AIDS for effect. To make it worse anything to do with AIDs had the danger logo of a human skull and crossbones we normally see on Electricity poles and other dangerous substances. However, with God there is always a way of saving His people from any situation no matter how bad it is and here I am talking about my HIV nearly 40 years after acquiring it. My family is a unique case in that out of the four of us only one is negative and the three of us positive are over 30 years living with HIV.
Today we may take comfort in the belief that HIV has now lost most of its venom and it’s something we no longer need to worry about but truth is a lot of people are suffering in silence and their is still lots of fear , shame, stigma and discrimination leading to many people defaulting on their ART uptake, others committing suicides unnecessarily , others divorcing each other or even engaging in violence as they blame each other for bringing HIV home. Messages I receive after every article from people suffering from various cruel situations they encounter , the ominous pervasive fear from a cruel death among other terrible feelings tell a different story. The fact that very few people want others to know that they are HIV positive is also evidence that a lot still needs to be done to make people comfortable disclosing their positive statuses.
I tested positive at a time HIV/AIDs was a death sentence and just talking about it let alone having it was a terrifying experience. I am so grateful to God for taking me this far. I have also learnt a lot during my long life with HIV which I continue to share with others be they positive or not.
The biggest challenge bedeviling the HIV/AIDs landscape is the shame, guilty, fear removal of dignity it was associated with when it was announced to the world which has stuck like glue till today. The stigma associated with being positive has stayed with people from the late 90s to date despite all the intervention programs that have been undertaken by government and other stakeholders.
When one goes for HIV testing one should be prepared for either a positive or negative result. One should also be prepared to accept whatever result especially a positive one with a willing heart. In my previous articles I have advised people not to rush for divorce if one of the partners brings home HIV. Dealing with HIV need composure and maturity. I have also advised people to accept both good and bad situations in the same stride without begrudging God for giving them such horrible diseases after all whose mother’s child should be infected if not me and you.
The other issue that needs to be conquered by people living with HIV is the victim mentality which was instilled in people during the early years of HIV. Many people stopped living productive lives as they thought that there was no longer any future to look forward to .I am a victim of this mentality as I stopped developing myself academically and professionally soon as I learnt that I was positive. The victim mentality caused many people to let themselves die slowly and surely because they told themselves that AIDs had no cure so what’s the use of fighting a battle that had already been lost before it had started. Fear is something that everyone should try to defeat at all costs. One way of defeating fear is by not listening to people who talk negativity and discouragement all the time. Stay with those who give hope and encouragement all the time.
All people living with HIV should develop a deliberate and intentional willingness to live which is the fuel needed to develop a fighting spirit even if the odds appear impossible to win. I tested positive at a time when I was down with TB and the odds appeared so high that everyone including myself never imagined that I would survive to tell my story but through resilience here I am many years later telling my story of survival in God’s Grace.
Fighting stigma and discrimination is another phenomenon to fight by people living with HIV as it is very dangerous. Human beings by their nature enjoy causing pain to others. Those of us living with HIV have not been left out. The reason why a lot of people fear disclosing or taking their ARVs in public is the fear of being stigmatized and discriminated against. What I have told myself ever since I tested positive is that I am my own man and the life I am living is mine. One day at a media workshop I asked the acting Minister of Health that we also want to take our ART publicly like others without fear of being discriminated against. I and my family have taken it upon ourselves to free ourselves from living for other people by telling ourselves that our lives are our own responsibility and we don’t care what others think about us as long as we are enjoying healthy lives with HIV. We are a very happy family as it were and are enjoying very productive lives. Our wish is to see everyone enjoying productive and healthy lives with HIV like us.
Above all that I have said Prayer is the most important thing to be mastered by everyone in this out life.
Piason Maringwa
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