Part 2
IN my previous article, I explored the theme of women’s empowerment and its impact on sexual relationships. While it is undeniable that women have made significant strides towards empowerment in various aspects of their lives, the same cannot be said for men.
Today, many young men seem to struggle with a sense of identity and confidence in the face of shifting societal dynamics. Today, some men are generally meek, weak both physically and psychologically especially on issues to do with women specifically their spouses.
This is particularly evident in family structures where boys are raised by fathers who may feel marginalised or humiliated by more dominant female figures.
The affection and respect that traditionally existed between fathers and sons is being increasingly replaced by fear and uncertainty, particularly in households where mothers take on the leading role. Reflecting on my own upbringing in the 1970s, I recall a time when gender roles were clearly defined, with specific chores and expectations for boys and girls.
There was a sense of honour in experiencing the trials of growing up, including physical competition among boys. Today’s young men, however, often find themselves in a paradoxical environment where traditional masculinity is questioned. They grow up in a world where the fear of disappointing their mothers, or appearing weak, overshadows their development.
Compounding this issue is the alarming normalisation of sexualisation at an increasingly young age. Children today are exposed to sexual content and themes far earlier than previous generations, often leading to premature involvement in sexual activities. What was once innocent role play, like the children’s game of “mahumbwe,” has taken a troubling turn.
Today’s children, even as young as six, are engaging in sexual behaviours that far exceed the innocent imagination that once defined these games.
In today’s “mahumbwe” those chosen to play roles of parents engage in real sex when they role play sleeping time and this at six years and above. Some girls refuse to act as mothers if a naughty boy is chosen or volunteer to play father’s role because they do real sex in this game. In my last instalment, I emphasised the importance of women’s emancipation and contributions to society.
This week I turn my focus to the disempowerment faced by men in the contemporary landscape. As women become more empowered confident, attractive, and self-assured many men seem to struggle to connect with this new reality. Rather than embracing the strength of an equal partnership, some men withdraw, feeling unprepared to meet the emotional and sexual needs of modern relationships, which can lead to unhealthy dynamics. The juxtaposition of empowered women and disempowered men presents a complex challenge that society must address.
As we navigate the evolving landscape of masculinity, it is crucial to foster environments where men can reclaim their confidence and engage positively in their relationships. Only then can we begin to break the cycle of toxic dynamics that contribute not only to personal distress but also to public health crises such as the rising rates of HIV infections associated with unbalanced power dynamics in sexual relationships.
In contemporary society, the dynamics between married couples have evolved dramatically, leading to a situation where some married women no longer rely solely on their husbands for sexual gratification.
This shift raises critical questions about the expectations and realities of modern marriage. Recent observations suggest that some men experience humiliation and frustration in their marriages, often stemming from their wives’ past sexual experiences. In an era where openness about sexual history has become more common, some women candidly compare their husbands to prior partners.
Such comparisons can undermine a man’s confidence and lead to feelings of inadequacy, often exacerbated by harmful stereotypes regarding masculinity and sexual performance. Furthermore, it is alarming to note that some women resort to infidelity driven by a perceived dissatisfaction with their partner’s abilities.
Historically, men were often thought to bear the brunt of sexually transmitted infections; however, the tide is turning as women are now emerging as potential carriers due to infidelity, reflecting a broader issue of sexual health that requires urgent attention. The advent of social media has introduced young boys to sexual experiences at an alarmingly early age, often facilitated by older, sexually starved older women.
This premature exposure can lead to emotional detachment and diminished expectations when these boys eventually enter marriage, creating a cycle of unfulfilled desires and unmet needs.
It is not uncommon for young married men to seek aphrodisiacs or supplements to enhance their sexual prowess, just as it is becoming increasingly frequent for newly married women to express disappointment over their husbands’ low libido and underwhelming sexual performance.
This disconnect reveals a more profound issue stemming from societal pressures and expectations around sexuality, leaving many individuals feeling trapped and dissatisfied in their relationships.
As we navigate these complex dynamics, it is crucial to highlight the unmet sexual needs of many women in today’s world. Despite their desires, some find it increasingly challenging to connect with men who can meet their emotional and physical needs. This gap drives some women to desperate measures, such as purchasing sex toys or engaging in transactional relationships further complicating the landscape of intimacy and fulfilment.
Moreover, the pervasive influence of drugs among the youth poses an additional threat to relationships and family structures. Many young individuals, caught in cycles of substance abuse, appear disoriented and lack the focus neccessary to build healthy, meaningful connections.
Interestingly, elderly men often find themselves as desirable partners for younger women, as they are perceived to offer genuine affection and financial stability. This dynamic underscores a need to redefine masculinity and the qualities that are valued in relationships today.
To address these pressing issues, a concerted effort is required from governments and communities alike. Policymakers must implement practical strategies to combat drug abuse and promote healthy lifestyles.
There should be a focused initiative to celebrate and uphold local cultures, ensuring that African values and traditions are nurtured and preserved amidst the overwhelming influence of Western norms.
By Piason Maringwa+263774322043
