I think it’s correct to say we are all born terminally ill because we all die at some point in time. During our time as Mkoka Support Group we tried to deal with all issues that we thought affected most people living with HIV whenever we met for group discussions every Thursday from 2004 up to about 2015.
Among some topics we discussed on were fear, stigma and discrimination, writing a will, how to endure illnesses gracefully among many other topics.
The main reason why we took our time to discuss some very grim topics was so that we would stay alert and prepared for any related situations. A lot of people find it very difficult to face some harsh realities that life brings to us from time to time.
During our weekly discussions back then we would try to strengthen and embolden each other with such examples like those of people facing death from illness, violence or from wild animals. When faced with a life threatening situation one should remain calm and face the threat head on instead of panicking and causing lots of other problems which at the end will not change the situation. A lot of people have been condemned to death and many have died bravely. Death is everyone’s destiny and we all must learn to face it bravely.
Everyone must stay prepared for death through illness as it is the most common cause of death. While we are still healthy let’s put resources together that we will use when we are ill because most relatives and caregivers shun poor patients. Diseases are very draining financially and most of us end up dying of stress instead of from the diseases we suffer from. As much as possible join a church or social organisation which will help you when you are down. Make friends while you’re still healthy and these are the people who will care for you when you are terminally ill. I always encourage people to have at least one or two people in the medical professions whom you are close to.
Always avoid trying to act strong to impress those who say you’re ill as this will drain you and weaken your resolve after all your health is your responsibility and not anyone else’s. I have seen a lot of terminally ill people drinking themselves silly just to show the world that they’re still healthy when the reality that they’re very sick is there for all to see. Some terminally ill hospital patients even try to bribe hospital staff or smuggle alcoholic beverages into hospital wards where they’re admitted and the results are devastating.
Terminally ill people especially those suffering from HIV related illnesses should avoid placing blame for their illnesses to witchcraft or related causes when they know full well that the witch is right there in their trousers or pants.
The consequences of poor management of terminal illnesses are many. If you are that kind of patient who is always complaining people will avoid you like the plague. As much as possible try to be very clean all the time by asking to be taken to the toilets and to be bathed if you can no longer bath yourself. As much as possible try to remain on your feet and also keep your mental faculties sharp. Avoid blaming anyone for causing you to be terminally ill as this will lead you to lose friends and caregivers. Some terminally ill patients have left homes and families divided because of their toxic statements. I have also noted with disdain the hatred directed by terminally ill patients to those who really love and care for them .
When the time to die arrives let’s all try to face death calmly and leave our relatives and families united instead of leaving divided forever.
Piason Maringwa
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