Commercialization of sex has made it lose it’s mystery and sweetness to a point where it is no longer something to look forward to in many marital bedrooms.
The proliferation of brothels, porn hubs and other such places means that anyone can now access sex whenever and wherever they want.
During our childhood days in the early 1960s to late 1970s it was taboo for young boys and girls to look at a nude adult lady or man. If by chance you happened to come across one you would quickly cover your face or look away and move away very fast. It was also believed that if a young boy or girl looked at the nudity of a naked adult of the opposite sex they would grow “shohwera” a painful and shameful pimple on one’s top eyelid and everyone would know that you had looked at a naked adult. Sex then was solely the preserve of married adults and not for everyone as is the case today. There was much orientation by adult males and females skilled in the field of sex before anyone could enjoy sex.
I remember how I would look enviously at my recently married brother every morning when he woke up in the morning with his new beautiful young wife back then in the mid 70s. I would imagine them doing all sorts of things in their bedroom with his new wife and I really looked forward to also doing the same with my wife later on when I got married.
Great and genuine caution was exercised when approaching rivers where either men or women were likely to be bathing people would shout from a distance and if there were people bathing be they men or women they would shout back and those intending to cross if there was no alternative crossing point would have to wait patiently and in hiding until it was “safe” to cross .Many people then tried very hard to avoid the temptation of seeing naked adults. Of course there were a few naughty men and women even children who would deliberately go and spy on nude people for the thrill derived there from but these were very rare cases.
One day when I was 14 years old while crossing Shashe River in Chirumhanzu with sekuru Nyamande we suddenly bumped into a group of ladies bathing in the river all naked to the skin. To me they looked so juicy and tempting in their wet shiny nakedness and my heart skipped a beat at the amazing spectacle. I was infront with uncle Nyamande following closely behind and I would have wanted to stop and take a very long and good look at the shining wet bodies of the naked ladies had I not been roughly pulled back by uncle Nyamande with a sharp rebuke. We had to move right far back into the thick bush where uncle Nyamande gave me a very good and long lesson on the dangers of staring at female nudity. The brief sight of the bathing naked ladies had awoken in me this sweet tickling sensation that I had never felt before and would live with up to adulthood.
Today’s youngsters both male and female are exposed and bombarded with sexually explicit and erotic situations daily from very early ages right up to adulthood. Some are even introduced to real sex at very tender ages and by the time they reach their teens they are already very tired and sexually burnt out. I have witnessed young children playing “mahumbwe” a game where they role play families refusing to be mothers because a naughty street wise boy has been chosen to be the father with the main reason for refusing being because the boy does real sex when imitating husband and wife sleeping time comes.
I am not an expert on sexual issues but from my observations and personal experiences I have learnt a few things that I think are the main causes of erectile Dysfunction and poor sexual performance in marriage. Early exposure to sex and sexual intercourse are among some of the causes. A woman’s naked body especially the African woman’s is very sexually attractive and should never be exposed unnecessarily for every Jack and Jill to see. Too much exposure to sexual issues at an early age makes one loose interest in sex later on in life leading to erectile dysfunction and poor performance in the marital bedroom. When one of the spouses is continually left unfulfilled they have no option but to look for sexual fulfilment elsewhere resulting in increased new HIV infections. Sexual unfulfillment is like intense unquenched thirst and when the need to quench that sexual thirst comes it becomes such hectic affair that nothing can stand in the way.
Another cause for sexual dysfunction and poor performance in the marital bedroom is stress caused by today’s hectic hustling life. Many couples spend lots of their time hustling for money and push marriage and sex to the back seat of their minds. Meanwhile there are a lot of good for nothing men whose only skill is giving an unfulfilled woman quality and satisfying sexual intercourse and sometimes HIV too. These men know their trade and have perfected their skill and are very popular with women especially sexually unfulfilled married ones in their neighbourhoods. I have heard some of these men saying married women are the best bet because, they are busy trying not to be caught and they’re cheap as opposed to marauding singles who besides wanting to be seen with you all over the place also want you to pay other expenses such as fees, rent and groceries among others for children who are not yours. The single ladies also behave like they have a gold mine embedded between their legs as they make unending demands sometimes holding you to ransom by flaunting their honeypot at their victim demanding extra cash payments before they give it to him. A lot of HIV positive guys out there will testify that they got it very expensively and under duress as it were.
The other cause for some of men’s sexual problems is feeling inadequate caused by feeling ashamed of the size of their manhood. This problem is usually caused by the way some of today’s wives try to unfairly compare their husbands manhood with those of their ex or current boyfriends. Wives should know well in advance that shaming your husband because of the small size of his manhood is like killing that man sexually. Size is not a big issue where there is love and commitment to one’s marriage. Men need love and support and praise among other things. If you were to hear the groans and mourns of pleasure that same man with a small manhood causes while having sex with a well groomed prostitute you would think he was committing murder to the prostitute. Sexual enjoyment and satisfaction is in the mind. Size is never a big issue after all the ignition key that starts a small Honda Fit car is almost the same size as that of a big thirty tonne truck. Men with small manhoods should never feel ashamed of the size of their small size after all they don’t manufacture manhoods it’s God given so be happy with what you have and make the best out of it .
Let’s go back to our roots and encourage our young generation to avoid too much exposure to sexually explicit material which causes them to be sexually burnt out before they get married. Men are the worst affected by sexual fatigue and this makes their married life hell in the end. Traditional life has got a lot of stuff that enhances sexual performance. Traditional foods, wild fruits and roots are all good aphrodisiacs and help keep a man in trim shape. A woman who knows her craft can also be a boost to sexual enjoyment. Grandfathers and mothers know how to grow a boy child’s manhood and grandmother’s and anties can also handle all those other nagging issues to do with ladies by denying your children regular visits to rural relatives and get initiated in traditional aspects of life you are doing your children a big disservice which will be very costly in marriage later on in life. Let’s regularly visit our rural villages with our children so that they are initiated into our traditions early in life. Problem with our sons today is they have been taken over by their in laws and nolonger want to have anything to do with their biological parents. This has caused them to have nowhere to go to in the event they’re affected by erectile dysfunction. It’s not easy for a son in law to tell his father in law that he is no longer sexually functional that can only be told to your own people and have it fixed.
Never be lied to those men purportedly suffering from erectile dysfunction in their marital bedrooms are stallions elsewhere. The marital bedroom can be a very big bore, what with some very beautiful and nagging wives always trying to find fault with their husbands. Men want naughty and bitchy ladies always eager to learn new sexual tactics. Sexual intercourse is naughty business and should be done in a naughty manner always.
Piason Maringwa
+263774322043
