By PIASON MARINGWA
There is a very big and dangerous misconception that HIV has now gone on leave and people no longer need worry about it.
Many people are falling in love, getting married, sleeping around and engaging in many other irresponsible sexual practices without getting tested for HIV. Truth of the matter is HIV is still there and will remain there for as long as we continue to behave irresponsibly.
My family is made up of three HIV members namely myself the founder, my wife and our now 31 year daughter and mother of three HIV negative boys married to an HIV positive young man. I always suspect that God gave us HIV in large quantities for the purpose of helping ourselves and others and that’s what we have been doing since 2004 after I had tested positive in 1999 while undergoing TB treatment at St Luke’s hospital near Lupane.
People Living with HIV are people like everyone else and experience normal sexual feelings like everyone else hence the need to also provide adequate information on how to go about their love lives. In this week’s article I shall endeavour to outline how I think those living with HIV should handle issues to do with love affairs, courtship and marriage. Many people need, love, marriage and sex be they HIV positive or not .There is therefore need to empower these people with powers to make informed choices on their love and sex lives.
I always use my personal experiences when explaining some issues to do with HIV. I have lived with HIV for a period spanning over 30 years, I have brought up a daughter born HIV positive in 1994. We have done protected sex for 18 years as a way of trying to protect my wife from infection after she refused to get tested in 2003 after I had disclosed my HIV status to her. My wife refused to get tested fearing that she would die of stress and depression if she tested positive and we had to endure and enjoy over 18 years of protected sex which later became very normal and enjoyable to us .
We have brought up a daughter born HIV positive from babyhood infancy, teenage through to adulthood aware of the complex nature of her situation. We counselled her after she tested positive at age 12 and made her accept her status in good stride. Time came for her to get into relationships and we had to again prepare her for responsible courtship and love life.
Our daughter tested positive when she was 12 years and it wasn’t easy to make her accept her status but with the help of local nurses especially Sister Anastasia Gorejena the Sister in Charge Kana Hospital and her team we won her confidence and she accepted her status. Later on we began to teach our daughter that because of her status it was important that she be very open to those she would relate with in love to avoid embarrassment, shame and humiliation later on in life. It was difficult but she obliged and when she brought home her fiance and his entourage for marriage proceedings we were so happy to hear that her man was HIV positive.
There is a sad scenario where a lot of people are behaving very irresponsibly in matters to do with love and sex. Many people, some very highly educated and in very responsible positions are engaging in very risky sexual behaviours as if oblivious of the existence of HIV. Many young and elderly people are getting married without ever going through HIV testing. Noone seems to care about this very important step.
I think there are lots of people who are sleeping on their jobs among them Priests, Pastors, Government marriage officers and parents among others. Many of these people just brush aside the issue of HIV and rush to get the marriage job at hand done with, so that they enjoy the money and ensuing parties. We all need to think seriously about the after effects of our actions as lots of innocent lives are at risk because of the irresponsible behaviours.
HIV is still there and very active let’s all play our part and ensure that all our actions aim to curb the spread of HIV/AIDS .Our aim should not be to enjoy immediate financial and sexual benefits while exposing people to danger. I think we should remain vigilant and focused on winning the fight against HIV. Those entering into new love affairs and marriages or remarriages should do so from an informed point view .New HIV infections will continue if we don’t work to curb new infections.
By Piason Maringwa
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