A lot of us think that death is very far away from us and very few people are keen to talk or think about it. When someone dies those still alive behave like they are invincible as they give very powerful grave yard speeches as if they won’t die themselves yet death is always very close to everyone.
I think death is a kind of healing especially considering the agony and pain many of us go through before we finally die and be free from pain. In this week’s article I shall dwell on how I think those terminally ill should be taken care of as they wait for their impending death.
Pandemics, epidemics and horrible diseases have come and a lot of people have died very agonizing deaths sometimes with very little care or none at all. Imagine living on a leprosy settlement quarantined from all your loved ones and friends. When AIDS and COVID 19 came on the scene the first victims died with very little or no care at all because it was believed that just getting close to an infected person one would be infected. It was much later that people began to become confident and more compassionate that the situation began to improve. This article seeks to look at the suffering most terminally ill patients be they HIV positive or negative and how best they can be taken care of.
Most terminally ill people are treated as if they are social outcasts who no longer need anything to prolong their miserable lives. Some relatives and friends would rather have the terminally ill patient dead than alive. A lot of these terminally ill people are deliberately deprived of all those pleasures that once made their lives rich ie children, friends, their favourite music, good food, home and even sexual intimacy is denied to them if married. There seems to be a conspiracy to make the terminally ill people suffer until they die.
Everyone should be aware that we are all here on earth for a short while and hence how we treat those who are terminally ill today may be done to us tomorrow. How each one of us is going to die is a secret only known by God so let’s all aspire to do good to our terminally ill relatives and friends so that when our turn comes others will treat us well.
Being terminally ill does not mean that one will die within a very short time as some people will die within a few days, weeks, months or even years. It is very important therefore to make our terminally ill patients as comfortable as we can to make their last days on earth as comfortable as possible.
Most terminally ill people would be very comfortable if kept in their real homes close to their family members, relatives and friends as much as possible. Family members should give a lot of love and care to their Ill relative and make him feel very much part of the family just as if he was well. The terminally ill relative should never appear like he is a burden or an expense. Our patient should only go to a hospital or clinic when it is really very necessary and wherever possible health personnel can come to visit the patient in the comfort of his home. At no time should a terminally ill patient be rebuked messing themselves up and all those caring for them should clean them up happily as if it’s just part of their daily chores.
We also need to be aware of our patient’s favourite food, drink, music etc and wherever possible avail it to them after all they’re on their way out and it’s known by all so why not make them enjoy their last days on earth. Shutting our terminally ill relatives in hospitals witch doctors’ or prophetic healers shrines is very cruel to say the least. If we have to take them there let it be for short periods of time and not make it a way of substituting our responsibility to other people unrelated to our patient. I remember at the time I was in admission at St Luke’s hospital undergoing TB treatment I always wished I was home with my family and village friends and I told myself that I would die happier within my community than among strangers faraway from home.
Some terminally ill people especially those women suffering from breast cancer and other ailments can be very healthy in all other aspects except for the affected part. These can go for years as terminally ill patients being denied such necessities as love and sex because of ignorance by their men. A lot of married couples have deprived their partners of this very necessary part of life due to ignorance .Health personnel and church leaders among others should avail information to avoid situations where the terminally ill patient dies stressed because they were deprived of something so obvious due to ignorance of the healthy partner.
Cases abound of terminally ill patients who died of depression after learning that their healthy partners had cheated on them while they were ill. Some cruel wives and or husbands of terminally ill AIDs patients have been known to have caused their now very ill partners a lot of pain by openly telling them that they we into sexual relationships with able people as they could not wait for someone now so useless sexually and they leave their ill spouses to go and have affairs out there. Others have been known to urge their terminally ill spouses to die quickly as they wanted to move on with their lives . Cruelty should never be part of caring for the terminally ill. When all has been said and done our terminally ill patients should spend their last days as happily as possible.
Piason Maringwa
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