Columnist/Opinion

Beware of the poison called jealousy

-it erodes self-confidence and sabotages success

Nyashadzaishe Rushwaya

  As we wake up every day we happen to set goals and aims and these keep us going. In achieving all this they are certain traits that we end up attracting and some we entertain them subconsciously which for today it’s jealousy.

There is an old parable that describes how people act toward one another when one person starts to achieve and move up to a new level.

 If you put one crab in a bucket, it’s likely it will manage to climb out.  But if you put more than one crab in a bucket, none of them will be able to get out

  When one starts to make it out, the rest pull it back down.  Sadly, that can describe people too. 

When my twin was offered a job at a certain hotel as family we supported and she also worked her heart out and by the time the hotel was up and running, carrying a name in the streets not everyone really liked it and everyone started majoring on the minors.

It’s only then when you have ruined something, thus when you can see how good it was.

Everyone who has ever accomplished anything of significance has felt the pinch of others who are jealous of your success.

Sometimes jealousy wears masks and isn’t easily recognized for what it is. It often comes in the form of criticism, unjustified anger, distance in previously close relationships or a breakdown in communication.  Not as hard to miss are clues like people spreading lies about you, rejection or outright hostility.

But what do you do when the jealousy and envy is coming from you, not to you?

 When someone else achieves something you’ve worked hard for and missed? When you’re the one still scrambling? A Greek philosopher Antisthenes said, “As iron is eaten by rust, so are the envious consumed by envy.” And it’s not a pretty sight.

The only person’s attitude you can control is your own. Jealousy is a form of feeling sorry for yourself and that’s not only a waste of energy but the worst possible habit you can have.

Unfortunately, you can’t fix the attitude of someone else. Regardless of the apparent cause for jealousy, a promotion or special favor, gifts, talents, abilities, relationships and connections that others don’t have, you don’t want to go down into the crab bucket to try to pacify others, it’s a trap.

When dealing with envy and jealousy, the only response is to take the high road.  Walk in love, wish the best for others and forgive them when they act like crabs. The only way to build the tallest building in town is to continuously work on your building, not by throwing bricks at your competitors.  It is completely possible to be competitive without the negativity of jealousy.  The only person that we need to be ‘better than’ today is the person we were yesterday.

Just leave the crabs in the bucket and get on with it. Comparison is the thief of joy and crabs are always going to act like crabs. You’re bigger than that.

When you actively participate in it, your actions are simply projecting your jealousy, fears, and limiting beliefs onto someone else and so you’re feeding into your existing weight of unworthiness and insecurity.

The reality of life is that there will always be someone who is wealthier, smarter, wiser, luckier, and perhaps much more successful in your field than you. So if you constantly compare yourself to others and let their success diminish you, then operating from a stable sense of self-worth will be incredibly hard to establish, and you will always play small in life.

If you’re on the other end of the paradigm, playing the victim role, well, then you’ll never be able to spring-free from the environment that’s anchoring you down within its boundaries of limited-thinking.

In either role you find yourself in, one thing is certain …you must break free from this Crab Mentality…. associate yourself with what you want to attract in life and be able to learn from those that have made it, invest your energy in knowing how they have done it than to speak ill of them

James 3 12-15

What can I do to improve not only myself but others around me, how can I sow a seed of honour and not expect anything out of it Galatians 6: 6.

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