From The Village with Father T
MR Vhandaberg brew a shocker last week after he told us that he has no funeral policy and has no intention whatsoever of getting one.
He reckons that his lifeless body will be the responsibility of those who will be alive then, not him. He has nothing to do with his dead body. Initially we all thought he was bluffing.
For, in our circles someone with a funeral policy(s) is considered to be well organised (you know what I mean) akarongeka, zvinotodadisa. In fact it is the same with many out there. Now, to even imagine Mr. Vhanda without a funeral policy was unthinkable.
According to him, Africans are afraid of death more than they love life. A fact that someone realised and decided to venture into the business of funeral policies for Africans. The business of funeral policies is one of the most thriving businesses in Africa. An African will invest in death without even a second thought- paying monthly premiums that will accumulate to thousands of dollars in his life time.
All because he wants his corpse to be driven in a limousine and have people talk admiringly about his funeral. If you were to tell that same person to start putting aside a small amount of money every month towards his health, chances are he will not agree. His reason will being, “Handina mari yacho.” So, he does not have money to invest in his own health?
What he fails to comprehend is that by paying those monthly premiums towards the funeral policy is actually a business investment –someone’s business. You are contributing to someone’s business. Why do you have to invest for the rest of life for a day you won’t be able to see?
Yes you will be dead, lifeless and tucked away in that expensive for nothing three – tier casket to feed the ants and termites. By the time you die you will be a millionaire but the money will not be yours. And after the funeral your family might not have any money to live on after you are gone. Invest in them for them, for their future when you are gone.
Imagine if only that funeral policy money was an investment for your own business or being channelled towards the welfare of your children. It would mean a better life and education for them. A better education means brighter chances of getting well-paying jobs. A child with a well-paying job will become rich and find life enjoyable.
Where have you ever witnessed a bad funeral of a rich person? He needs no funeral cover to bury him – his money takes care of that! Taking care of your body (so to speak) will be much easier for them when you finally give the bucket that last emphatic kick.
In any case, where in Zimbabwe have you ever heard of a body that was not interred because the person had no funeral policy? NEVER! The truth is no one wants to keep or stay with a corpse. They know what is best for the dead.
They bury them. With or without a funeral policy they will still bury them. After all, a funeral wake in Zimbabwe is usually just three days. Zvenyu zvemazuva ano zvekuita one week musina kuchengeta munhu atova madrama.
Only kings and national heroes are mourned that long before burial. It’s all because you can afford it. In conclusion Mr. Vhanda told us that while he has no funeral cover for himself, he has taken out funeral policies for his wife, mother and some children.
His logic – It will be his responsibility to bury those when they die. But when he dies, it will be the responsibility of someone else not him to make sure he is decently buried. The dead are not worried about their funeral wakes. Neither do they care or bury themselves.
The dead stay dumb!
