All people born of woman’s lives are short and full of problems, says the Holy Bible in the Book of Job. I fully agree with this Biblical truth as surely all people whether rich or poor have lots of problems and relatively short lives.
Among both the rich and poor are people who die very young and others die at very ripe ages sometimes going beyond 100. In the same life full of problems people still find joy and happiness whether poor or rich. The motivation to live longer is found in both groups rich and poor. A Shona proverb goes “Kufa kwemurume hubuda ura” which loosely translated means “A man is not dead until all his intestines are out”. Even wild animals value life very much as evidenced by some animals which run from their prey with their intestines dangling outside. In today’s article I want to dwell more on the importance of having this deliberate and intentional willingness to go on with life even if all odds are piled so high against you.
There are so many reasons that compel human beings to want to live forever even if life becomes so cruel to them. Among some of the reasons that make people want to live longer are the need to fulfill our desires eg pursuing our dream careers, achieving success in our chosen fields, seeing our children and grandchildren grow into successful people, getting married to our dream lovers and enjoying family life with them among many other reasons. The world in spite of all it’s difficulties is a very interesting and enjoyable place to be and noone should be in a hurry to leave this wonderful world for any reason even if one is HIV+. I even suspect from the sorrowful way people weep and wail in hopelessness and agony when a loved one dies shows a certain kind of doubt in the after life and a certain finality in death. I think there are a lot of departed souls by heaven’s doors pleading with God to be allowed back to earth just for a little while longer to complete whatever it was they were enjoying doing when they died.
I have talked to many people living with HIV who were at some time on the brink of death how they felt when all signs of recovery were almost non existent and most say the last thing they wanted was to die. I also felt the same when I fell ill in September 1999, the last thing I wanted was to die. I had never prayed so hard and sincerely before but during this time when death appeared to be beckoning so hard at me I decided to pray earnestly to our loving God and sure enough my prayers were answered and I was saved from death’s clutches. The fear of leaving my then 7 year old son and 4 year old daughter and young wife was so overwhelming. The realization that if I died then she would not qualify for a life pension from my teaching job as I had not yet reached the minimum pensionable period made me not to want to die then. I prayed to God to spare me until my children were grown up into young adults. I also made a promise to God that if He spared me from death then I would tell everyone in this big wide world how wonderful and loving He is which promise I have tried to fullfil every day through my testimonies including by writing this article and many others and my book “The Extra Time” .
The other thing that should make everyone shun dying intentionally is the fact that nobody knows exactly what happens when one dies. I have tried to ask around and imagine what it is like to be dead without coming up with a very clear answer so why rush to something that is not so clear. Talking and imagining death is such a grim activity nobody wants to engage in let alone experience. Those people who commit or threaten to commit suicide or default on their ARVs after testing positive are not doing any good to both themselves or whoever it is they want to fix.
People living with HIV and everyone else should make it their business to avoid situations that bring them closer to death unnecessarily as much as they can. I have heard many people saying death is predetermined by God but I still feel we also contribute to how long we can live by our actions. If one lives a very reckless life thinking that God has already set up his time and way to die that person has nobody to blame except himself if they die prematurely. Let’s all try to live longer and useful lives as we live with HIV. Let’s develop that deliberate and intentional mindset to want to live longer no matter what.
Our support group here at Mukoka in Gokwe South formed some over 25 years ago has over 20 members who have lived with HIV knowingly for over 30 years and all have been seriously ill at some point in their lives but are now all enjoying very good health thanks to this deliberate and intentional mindset to live longer which we continue to instill in each other every time we meet. I am one of those who have lived knowingly with HIV for over 30 years and have been seriously ill at some point in my life but the desire to live and see my children grow among other reasons has been my fuel ever since. I am still pursuing that intentional desire to live longer and see my five grandchildren from my two children grow into successful adults. When I tested positive in 1999 I was 35 years old newly married and had been 5 years as a qualified high school teacher and never thought I would get this far. I am very happy that I have retired with my marriage to my first and only wife Mai Simba still intact and our two children now family people. The biggest mistake many couples make when one or both test positive is to divorce. Next week I shall write a full article on the dangers of divorce after HIV comes home to roost.
Piason Maringwa
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