The Holy Bible in Hosea Chapter Hosea 4:6 NIV
“my people are destroyed from lack of knowledge. “Because you have rejected knowledge, I also reject you as my priests; because you have ignored the law of your God ……..”
Many people shun knowledge and this at their own peril. The most difficult people to give advice about their health to are those on denial about being HIV positive. I have made a lot of observations during my long life with HIV spanning over three decades.
My family of four has three HIV positive members namely myself, my wife and our now 32 year old daughter and mother to three negative and very healthy boys. In this article I shall dwell more on why I think disclosure helps in fighting HIV/AIDS.
My life has been lived with HIV since the late eighties when I started suspecting that I was HIV positive after reading about the coming in of a new disease called AIDS which was said to be caused by a virus called HIV. This disease was said to attack prostitutes, drug abusers, homosexuals among others.
I am not a drug abuser neither am I a homosexual but I was a consumer of prostitute services and had had my fair share of STIs so I felt I was already a victim of HIV/AIDS. The feeling that I was already positive was to haunt me for the next decade leading me to live a very reckless life culminating in the loss of my job in the Department of Taxes which I had joined in 1983. I was living one day a day type of life as I thought that every day would be my last with no future in sight. I know I am not the first person to live in suspicion of being HIV positive without an HIV test there are a lot of people out there who believe they’re positive basing on their past sexual behaviours. It was much later in 1999 when I got a real HIV positive test while at St Luke’s hospital near Lupane where I was admitted for TB treatment.
A doctor at St Luke’s hospital had encouraged us to get tested for HIV as most patients suffering from TB were usually HIV positive. We asked the doctor of what use it would be to be tested for something that had no medicine then. The doctor told us that just knowing that you are positive or negative was very beneficial even though there was no medication because you would know how to navigate your life within the bounds of your current condition. It was after much meditation and debating amongst ourselves as patients that five of us decided to go for the HIV tests. When we were given our results that fateful Tuesday afternoon one could tell the diagnosis on each other’s frightened faces as we silently filed back to the male TB ward at St Luke’s. I didn’t tell my wife Mai Simba then as I felt it wasn’t necessary. The five of us who had tested positive stuck together during the day sometimes discussing our recent test and I noticed that my colleagues especially a headmaster who seemed to feel that he wasn’t supposed to be infected by such a horrible disease as TB let alone HIV had been badly affected by the positive results.
I joked about us being TB and HIV positive asking my friends whose mother’s child did they want to be positive if not them. Later that week our headmaster friend passed on and there remained four of us. I was to later on learn that the other three members also died at their homes after we had been discharged and all this during the first two months from being tested.
Disclosure and Lessons Learnt
Those who have been following my articles already know how I disclosed to Mai Simba my wife of 37 years and how she refused to be tested for fear of being unable to handle a positive result hence we had to do protected sex for the next 18 years. Recovery to full health after TB is a long process. My life after disclosure has been so smooth resulting in us continuously enjoying excellent health ever since. Mai Simba and our daughter later tested positive and I knew they had got it from me. I had to apologize to both.
I later on disclosed to my siblings who accused me of bringing the family name into shame. I took all the blame in good stride and went on to tell everyone who cared to listen just like I am doing here. I also told my workmates at the school where I taught then, I disclosed to the District Inspector, the community the children whom I taught until everyone began to think and say that HIV/AIDS had made me stark raving mad. I told myself it was better to be mad and alive than to be sane and dead.
I have lost three brothers and two of them with their entire families who later tested positive many years after me but refused to accept their positive statuses opting to blame witchcraft instead. I have lost many friends and workmates to HIV/AIDS some who had felt very sorry for me when I was ill from TB. Our support group formed in 2004 has some people who can testify that they were on the verge of death but after disclosure and adherence to ART they are continuously enjoying good health many years later. Most people who tested positive many years ago and are alive today will tell you that they’re alive first because of disclosure and second because of ART which came later. Disclosure frees the mind and a free mind heals the body so says the Bible in Proverbs. I suspect that I was already positive long before I married Mai Simba and I infected both her and our daughter and both have no qualms talking about their positive statuses. I have apologized sincerely to both and we are living happily together .I want to devote next week’s article on how I met ,fell in love and married Mai Simba and we have navigated our life with HIV together for 37 years and beyond.
Those wishing to get a copy of my book “The Extra Time ” published in 2024 can get in touch with me on my number below.
Piason Maringwa
263774322043
